


a hand grenade and a whole lot of feelings

by yoonminoml (fanficloverme96)



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Feelings Realization, M/M, bungou stray dogs au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26083258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficloverme96/pseuds/yoonminoml
Summary: “Maybe next time, don’t get stabbed,” Tenn says.“That’s a bit of a tall order considering our job.” Gaku ruffles Tenn’s hair, grinning at the boy’s sounds of protest. “Maybe next time don’t stand close to a bomb.”
Relationships: Kujou Ten/Yaotome Gaku
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32





	a hand grenade and a whole lot of feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for someone who wanted to know a little bit more about one of my many AUs. I probably won't write this into a proper fic, but this one-shot is based on my Bungou Stray Dogs AU where Tenn is an ability user which you can read a little bit more in my twitter thread [here](https://twitter.com/tennssi0907/status/1295274317329002497).
> 
> This takes place after a scene where Gaku rescued Tenn from a bomb blast and they re-evaluated their opinions about one another.

Gaku finds him on the agency rooftop. As usual.

“Don’t you get cold?” Gaku asks, “It’s in the middle of winter and you only have a thin shirt on. You’ll get sick for sure.”

His words are scolding but his tone is full of concern. Tenn couldn’t hold back the smile from curving his lips, accepting the hot drink Gaku offered him. It’s cheap premixed coffee served in a small paper cup, but it’s delicious on Tenn’s tongue and warm in his chest.

“You don’t need to do that,” Tenn says when Gaku drapes a heavy coat on his shoulder, “I’m used to the cold.”

“You look like you’re used to a lot of things.”

There is a dip in Gaku’s tone. Tenn doesn’t mistake the concern dripping from his words, even more so than before. Gaku tries to sound blase with it, but out of the two of them, Gaku isn’t a very good actor. Tenn doubts he even has any skills for tricking people, even though those skills would have been useful to him as a private detective.

Well, Gaku has always been too honest for his own good.

“You may think I’m dressed flimsily now,” Tenn says, referring to his dress pants and thin white shirt, “But there was a time where I used to wear even more ridiculous clothing regardless of the season.”

Gaku’s eyebrows raise in interest and curiosity. “Like what?”

“Like dresses, for instance. Long ones, with elaborate patterns and intricate flowers stitched onto the fabric.”

Gaku blinks, his mouth hanging open but no words coming out of them. It’s a little funny and it makes Tenn chuckle, but the laughter is brief before he slows down into a subdued smile instead. He turns back to look at the view of Yokohama at night, taking in the bright lights and the sounds of the cars below them.

“I…” He hears Gaku struggle for words. “I didn’t know that you’re into that kind of thing. N-not that there’s anything wrong with it!” he hurriedly adds, lifting his hands in defense, “I-I just -,”

Tenn’s smile turns fond. “Well, to say that I’m into it is a bit of a stretch, I’ll admit.”

“S-sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Back then, I simply got used to wearing those things. It was asked of me, and back at my old job, I didn’t have much freedom to say no.” Tenn threads carefully with his words. He could already sense Gaku looking at him with a new expression - another variety of concern, he bets - and doesn’t want to reveal anything unnecessary. “I was told...that I looked pretty in those dresses. And pretty faces should always be dressed in pretty things.”

He says the last part with a quiet breath, but Gaku hears it all the same.

“Tenn -,”

“But enough about me,” Tenn interjects, turning his head to look at Gaku again. “How are  _ you  _ doing? I’m surprised Yuki-san allowed you to walk around like this. That stab wound looked pretty deep. I’m sure you’re still aching in some places.”

Gaku waves his hand dismissively. “It’s just a flesh wound. It only looked bad because of all the blood. Besides,” He sighs heavily, “I think Yuki-san’s healing ability is more dangerous than any other injury.”

Yuki’s ability,  _ For the Next Thousand Years _ , can heal any injury, but only works if the person is close to death. Needless to say, his patients had to be rendered to that state for his ability to activate. Tenn has yet to personally experience it, but the nervous expression on Gaku’s pale face is enough of a testimony for him.

“Maybe next time, don’t get stabbed,” Tenn says.

“That’s a bit of a tall order considering our job.” Gaku ruffles Tenn’s hair, grinning at the boy’s sounds of protest. “Maybe next time don’t stand close to a bomb.”

There is suddenly a tense silence following his words and Gaku could feel Tenn stilling under his touch.

“A-ah, sorry, was that too -,”

“You’re an idiot, you know.”

_ “Hah?!” _

“What kind of fool jumps in front of an exploding bomb?” Tenn demands, “If it weren’t for my ability covering us, you could have gotten killed!”

“I-I...I saw you in trouble and my body just reacted, alright?” Gaku answers heatedly, “Though I admit I probably wasn’t thinking very clearly when I did it.”

“Did you even think at all?” Tenn asks, unimpressed.

“Oi, watch it, brat.” Gaku sighs heavily as he runs a hand through his hair. “Argh, I was uncool, wasn’t I? I tried to save you from an exploding bomb only to get stabbed right after. So much for being a hero.”

This has Tenn smiling a little in exasperation. “You definitely made an impression.” He teeters for a moment, his hand clutching Gaku’s coat around him. The material is heavy and warm, and Tenn feels a sense of...security and comfort with this fabric draped onto his shoulders. “I...never got the chance to thank you, by the way.”

He says this so softly that Gaku almost didn’t hear him the first time. He turns to look at the boy beside him and is surprised to see his cheeks flushed, his expression seemingly...embarrassed?

“O-oh, well.” Gaku coughs. “I only did what I should. Besides, if I had hesitated, you would have gotten hurt.”

“I have my ability,” Tenn points out.

“You would have still gotten hurt,” Gaku insists, “Ah, stop being so stubborn about it. You thanked me, so let’s end it at that.”

“What? I can’t bring up how uncool you were afterwards?” Tenn asks playfully, “Okay, okay. I’m joking,” he laughs when Gaku gives him a withering look. “I mean it though...when I thanked you. I…” He lets out a breath, his fingers curling around the coat a little tighter. “I...changed my mind about you.”

“Oh? How so?”

“I always thought you were too idealistic,” Tenn says, “Your beliefs of saving as many people as you can...I just thought you were foolish and reckless and that one day those very same ideals will betray you. Disillusion you.”

“So you keep saying,” Gaku says dryly. 

“But now...when you saved me from that explosion at the risk of you getting hurt, or worse, dying.” Tenn hides his clenched fist in the coat’s pocket. “I...understand a little...these beliefs of yours.”

Gaku blinks, surprised. “Tenn.”

“I still think you’re reckless,” Tenn continues, “I still think you could have been more careful and think more with your head. But at the same time, I also know that hesitation can be disastrous...and if…” Tenn finds himself hesitating, his cheeks tinted pink. “If it had been you, I would have done the same.”

Gaku, unable to react in any other way, blinks in surprise again.

“W-what I’m saying is - !” Tenn sucks in a breath to keep himself from stuttering again. He hasn’t been this nervous in a long time and he doesn’t know what to think of this development. “While I still think trying to save everyone is too idealistic, I understand wanting to save someone you c-care about even knowing the risks that come with it. When it comes to these things, you can’t really think clearly because…”

He looks at Gaku. “All you can think about is how to get them out of harm’s way.”

“Tenn…” Gaku makes a sound at the back of his throat. “I...wow, you surprised me. I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything you don’t mean.”

“You know I don’t do that. In fact, you’re the one who always complains I say out things before I think the words through.”

“It’s true.”

“Which is why,” Gaku says, surprising Tenn a little with his firm tone, “My next words are not mere lip service. Tenn, I...I think I’m beginning to understand you too. And honestly, I know why you say those things...about my values being too idealistic. That one day, they’ll cost me. I get it. I just…”

They’re standing in front of each other now and Tenn could feel the warmth radiating off the man’s skin. Gaku’s eyes are really pretty, Tenn thinks with some kind of surprise. They’re like a pair of mirrors, reflecting the moonlight off their clear surfaces. Tenn could see himself in his gaze and realized the expression he’s making.

He looks as if he’s in -

“I just find myself wanting to protect you,” Gaku confesses softly, “My body moved on autopilot...and in that one single moment, I didn’t even worry if I was going to die or not. I just wanted you safe.”

Tenn lets out a shaky breath. “I’m not worth that much.”

“I disagree.”

There are hands cupping his face. Gaku’s touch is warm and comforting. Tenn has always known this. He’s known this since the first they accidentally brushed hands when passing paperwork in the office. He’s known this since Gaku makes it a habit to ruffle his hair like Tenn’s a cute, helpless child. He’s known this when Gaku held him tight earlier today as he shielded Tenn from the blast, and again, when one of the henchmen threw a dagger towards him, which struck Gaku instead.

His touch is warm and comforting and Tenn is drawn towards it, just as their faces are leaning in. What happens if Tenn closes his eyes right now? What happens if Tenn allows himself to stop thinking and just feel -

The warmth is slowly pulling away and when Tenn opens his eyes that he doesn’t realize he had already closed in the first place, he sees Gaku giving him this strange look.

There is a smile on Gaku’s face, but unlike the playful or cocky smiles he had worn in the past, this one is soft around the edges, and there is something wavering in his gaze. Tenn swallows. For such a confident man like Gaku to waver about something, Tenn doesn’t know if he wants to know why. 

“I’m glad I’ve come to know you, Tenn,” Gaku says quietly.

There is so much earnesty in his voice that Tenn finds himself suddenly struggling to hold back his tears. His chest feels tight and there is a different kind of pain that Tenn has never felt before. What is this? Why does his heart suddenly feel heavy?

Tenn could have said something smart - like how their exchanges tend to be. He doesn’t have to change anything. It’s better this way, after all. But -

“Mmph. Me too,” he hears himself murmuring back, “You… I changed my mind about you, Yaotome Gaku.”

Gaku chuckles softly. “So have I, Nanase Tenn.”

Tenn ends up staying at the rooftop, saying he wants to enjoy the night view a little longer. Wrapping Gaku’s coat around him again, he waits until the man closes the door and climbs down the stairs back into the office until Tenn moves to sit on the metal rail. His feet dangle into the night air and for a fleeting moment, Tenn wonders what would happen if he allows himself to fall.

“Of course, you won’t ever let that happen, won’t you?” Tenn says with an empty smile, “Riku?”

The air comes to a standstill for a split second, before there is a slight pressure when Tenn’s ability activates. There is a light glow surrounding the boy and Tenn feels the hair at the back of his neck rise before his body is enveloped with a familiar presence. Tenn continues to smile when he looks up.

And sees the face of the phantom he controls staring emotionlessly back at him.  _ Heavenly Visitor.  _ The phantom that is his ability. A weapon he wields and free to bend to his every desire.

Though with its bright red hair and bright, glowing eyes and its eternally emotionless features, which is lit up by the blue flames the phantom manipulates, there is nothing heavenly about this being.

And yet it hovers protectively over Tenn, who reaches out for its hand. Holding it gently. Tenderly. Calling the phantom by a proper name like one would do with an actual human being. 

“Riku,” Tenn says, “I wonder if Gaku would still think the same way if he knows...all the things I’ve made you do. All the things...I did with these hands you’re holding.”

Riku, just as it always has for the years they’ve been together, remains a quiet presence above him, allowing Tenn’s question to diminish silently into the air. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/comments/bookmarks are appreciated and if you want to find out more about this AU, feel free to find me on Twitter at @tennssi0907 !


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